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Megaphone of Grace

As I stood in the bathroom, getting ready for another work day, I stared at myself in the mirror. The woman staring back at me did not quite have the aspect of a model like I wish she did. “I have to exercise more and eat better,” I told myself in self-disgust. I was already doing both those things, but it clearly wasn’t enough. And now that I’d opened the door for self-incrimination, I saw no point in stopping with my physical appearance. If I was a failure here, surely that couldn’t be the only place. I thought of how I fell short as a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. Was I even putting enough into my relationship with God? I tried to promise myself I’d do better, but who was I kidding; I’d promised that before. How could someone like me be called to what God has called me to? “You’re not,” whispered the voice in my head. “It was just your pride making you think you were called; it’s not God.” Even what I believed God was leading me towards seemed to be a result of yet another weakness in my life.
I’ve been a Christian for 27 years now. In my head, I understood that God loves me. I just felt that love to be more like the love you have for your two-year-old when he has just finished smashing gooey chocolate into the carpet. Like sure, you definitely love him, but you also have to count to ten before you do something stupid. See, I knew what Jesus said to the people about the law. He told them that if you were guilty of breaking one small portion of the law, you were guilty of it all. I understood intimately that all my trying to do better, all my prayers, everything I gave up or started would never be enough to make myself right. God gave me His love as a gift, but I wanted Him to be proud of me and to be pleased with me, and I felt every day that there was no way He could be. But Jesus did not go the cross so that God’s attitude towards us could change from separation to “Okay, I guess I can sort of stand you now that Jesus has covered your sin.” No, God loved us already so ardently that He sent Jesus so that He could have communion with us because – and this is the important part – He wants that! Passionately! And when we received Jesus’ gift, we didn’t gain just a sort of distant acceptance; God gave Grace the power to have the louder voice in our lives. Grace obtained a megaphone to drown out our shortcomings the minute we accepted it. I had just managed to expertly rip the megaphone out of the fingers of Grace and place it back into the hands of my failings. I don’t think I’m alone in that.
God wants us to stop doing that. He doesn’t see us as a sinner with a little grace slathered on like a patchy application of sunscreen. No, when He looks at us, He sees us as what we now are: beloved children of the King, bride of Christ with a banner of love, pure – unimaginably huge love –waving over us. Do not give your failures the louder voice in your life. “Where sin abounds, grace does much more abound.” He is proud of you; He is pleased with you. Let those words take precedence over all other voices. Rip that megaphone unceremoniously out of the clutches of your failings and lay it back at the feet of a grace-full God, who has called you by name and whose boundless love for you could never be measured.

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8 Comments

  1. Natalie

    You most certainly are not alone in that! Idk what God has called you to but I’m selfishly hoping it’s more writing because this was very good and encouraging! Every single day we need to place ourselves right under that megaphone of grace as to drown out all the voices around us, especially our own! I have a new visual now thanks to you:)

  2. Brenda Maynard

    Thank you for sharing this. As we struggle through life daily we can be our own hindrance.
    If we could only see ourselves as God sees us.

  3. Patricia Mounce

    Thank you Misty. This hit home so much this morning. Such a welcome reminder each and every day knowing how much HE gave for us and how much HE loves me us

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